Girls in WoW

I’ve read many blogs and forum posts about how other girls get treated in their guilds and how it is to be a girl in WoW, so I wanted to share my experience.

When you start WoW people think you’re a guy unless you say you aren’t. My first character was a male tauren warrior, so people automatically thought I was a guy cause “a girl wouldn’t choose a male tauren”, and “girls prefer healers or casters”.

I got many friends while leveling and we talked about everything, but I never told them that I was a girl and they didn’t ask either, why should they. I never thought it was relevant to anything.
But when I applied to my first guild they wanted to know my real name, so they figured I was a girl. The GM there was also a girl and we became good friends, so then the whole guild knew about it, but it was no problem because they treated us like any other person, with respect. Back then I didn’t know that some girls got treated differently, I never thought about it. So I didn’t really notice if people were friendlier to me, but I know I didn’t get any free gold, epics or anything just for being a girl.

It was first later when I joined a new guild I noticed I got more attention and guys started to flirt a lot and asking for pictures and other personal things. At first I just laughed at it and found it funny, like a joke, but later it just became annoying, it was too much.

I remember one episode when we were going for the Immortal in Naxxramas, the GM told me that I wouldn’t get a spot cause I was a girl and he didn’t want to yell at a girl if she died. But I was never one of those who failed and died on bosses. I got a spot after all and we got the title. But I didn’t like that they wanted to keep me out cause I was a girl, I just wanted to be treated like any other person, don’t think I would have cared more than anyone else if I got yelled at.

Girls=drama, girls can’t play
Later I applied to a new guild and they wanted to have a chat with me before I got accepted.
They said because I was a girl they would only give me a trial spot if I could promise not make any drama, whine about loot or ask my friends in the guild to stand up for me and defend me. I remember I just thought why the hell should I do any of those things. I don’t think I ever make more drama or whine more about loot than any other person. And I can perfectly fine defend and talk for myself.

I find it unfair that people have to ask girls about things like that before they invite them to a guild like all girls are meant to do those things.

When I joined them my gear was much lower item level than everyone else so my damage wasn’t very good. People started to whine about my dps being low and said I sucked. But later when I got better gear and caught up on the others people started to ask if it was my boyfriend, who played the same class as me, that played on my character. No, it was me, but they didn’t believe it.

I noticed people in this guild easily misunderstood me. Whatever I said they thought I was negative, even if I made a joke they thought I was serious, maybe because they didn’t know me and because I always felt like saying my opinion on things. But I just tried to be a part of the guild, help out and be friendly. This failed badly because it was like they all already had made up their opinion on girls in WoW.

I don’t think I was a bad player. I was active, good damage, knew all the bosses and didn’t fail more than anyone else. Still if I failed once a person was quick with calling me names and of course I had to defend myself, and I think it’s unnecessary to make mistakes or argues personal like calling people names. I take it very personal and offending when people say things they only can say to a girl, very offending things I don’t feel like writing here. Later I got kicked first as a joke, then they said the reason was low damage, but they never gave me any warning, and none believed it anyway cause my damage was perfectly fine. But the guy who kicked me was one of those who always seemed to have something against me, I don’t know why cause I had never done anything to him. Maybe some of them just didn’t like girls.

Girls on ventrilo
I’m in a new guild now with some people I’ve known for years, they don’t seem to have anything against girls, and they treat me like any other person. I’m not a shy person, I love to talk and be social. But I have never been very active on ventrilo. First cause I didn’t have a microphone and when I got one and started to speak people just made jokes and started asking me all kinds of personal questions. I guess they just were very immature and I was a bit over sensitive, but after that I didn’t enjoy speaking on ventrilo anymore. I only did it with my best friends in the guild.

But after being in a guild with people I don’t know and people I’m not sure that I like or like me, I got used to being quiet and not so social, also got used to not having anything to say or comment.

So now when people ask me to speak on ventrilo I’m not really too shy to speak, I’m just not sure what to say, and how they will react. I have heard how some of them are when we do pugs with ventrilo and there are other girls there who speak. And I don’t want all that attention or all the jokes. Maybe they won’t be like that when I get to know them better and it stops being weird.

Summary:

  • Some people think girls=drama and whining and there for they don’t want girls in their guild.
  • Maybe some girls are like that, but I think it’s the same as saying you don’t want people from this or that country because you have experienced that some people from that country made drama and whined.
  • Some people think girls can’t play, that they automatically sucks, and if they don’t their boyfriend is playing her character.
  • Some people can’t act normal when a girl is in the guild/raid. They have to make jokes and flirt, and everything becomes weird. And some people automatically decide not to like you because you’re a girl.
  • Some people think a girl in the guild will be disturbing for the guys when raiding, so they don’t want any girls in the guild.

I just hope that I can be treated like any other person, because I don’t see why it’s relevant if I’m a girl or not.

Have you experienced anything like this?

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5 thoughts on “Girls in WoW

  1. I have been in guilds where my gender hasn’t mattered, and I’m glad for that. I’d not stand for being in a guild where having a female player is a “big deal” – so I think in the end you’re probably better off not being in that guild. At the same time, it’s pretty horrible to think that some guilds/people treat female players like that.

    If someone even just suggested that my bf or brother played my character I’d probably punch them in the face. Well, virtually at least ;)

    It amuses me somehow that they think women = lootdrama considering that the most loot drama I’ve heard are from male players *lol* In fact, most WoW drama in general seems to be male players, so maybe they need to take a good, hard look at themselves before judging others.

    1. I agree, most loot drama I’ve seen has been male players too. They even rage quit/log.

      I’m happy in the guild I am in now. The one I wrote about was full of idiots and I didn’t want to be there anymore.

  2. I’ve been lucky because no one has ever made an issue of my gender in WoW.

    Definitely loot drama I tend to associate with men, the sheer number of tears I’ve seen over pixels coming from guys in their thirties…. Actually all the drama I’ve encountered full stop has been caused by men old enough to know better. A tank who sat down whilst he was meant to be tanking Onxyia and wasted 39 other people’s time whilst he had a tantrum (he was in his late 30s at the time), guys who had each other on ignore despite one being a raidleader and the other a druid with combat res (organising resses was interesting), people gquiting for an hour or so because someone they deemed less worthy got the healing weapon of Illidan, the list is endless.

    I think finding the right guild is always tricky and with jerks like the ones you describe out there, it’s potentially harder for females because we have a few added extra things to contend with (like the attitude some people have that women just can’t play, that we cause drama etc). However hopefully as more women play the game, the number of sexist, stereotyping idiots will decrease.

  3. Very interesting post.

    I have had very few problems like this. Of course I do sometimes (often?) get “teased” for speaking on ventrilo, but it doesn’t bother me at all, I don’t think it’s offensive in any way.

    However, sometimes I have spoken to random people, maybe traded them an enchant etc, and they have asked “are you a real girl?”. When I say yes I sometimes get the question “do you have a bf?”. What kind of question is that? So desperate, and what am I supposed to answer? “no, but maybe it can be you?” Lol.

    One thing that does bother me is the time someone told me I could be an offiser in the guild if I wasn’t a girl, cause the girls just made too much drama. That made me sad.

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